Basic rules for postmodern checkmate

Lately, modern leftists around the world, including in our country, have been constantly testing the limits of our sense of humor, proposing increasingly exotic innovations in public life, with the aim of preventing racial and class injustice. In particular, the proposals for a chess reform, abolishing the rule that white pieces always go first, can be supplemented with a few of our own in the same spirit:

• The "White King" is incompatible with the postmodern concept and is removed
• The Black King is renamed Greta Thunberg
• The horse is renamed the gender-neutral Conchita (Wurst)
• If the white player wishes to move a pawn, he must declare it a feminist. Only feminist white pawns can move on the chessboard. The rest are on their knees and apologize for their slavery.
• At any moment, a pawn can declare itself a queen, which immediately makes it a queen. The queen can declare itself a pansexual knight. Anyone can declare themselves anything. Those who disagree are disqualified from the game.
• The officers are the most effective figure of the whites. The black officers are resigned.
• The board, as well as the pieces, are made only from carbon-neutral materials. Only vegans are allowed in the hall, and only masters in liberal arts are allowed in the federation.
• If the player with white pieces takes a black piece, he is subject to investigation for ties to Russia. If the player with black pieces takes a white piece, he goes to private prison for 10 moves.
• White pieces have the right to build a wall, but only if they make Black pay for it. Black pieces have the right to safe space.
• Only victories of black figures can be uploaded to YouTube. Otherwise, you will be disqualified from the federation and demonetized!
• The black horse moves in a "L-shape", the white one can only move in a "G-shape".
• The Black Queen is often absent from the party because she is a single mother. The White Queen has no children so as not to put an additional burden on the ecosystem.
• In the name of equality between people, no matter how the game ends, the result is a draw!
• And finally, none of the participants should forget that chess, victories and losses, are a social construct! Only the class struggle is not!

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